Cylon Cats

Honeymoon: Undecided

So, we didn't think we'd be able to go on a honeymoon. First, we really wanted to go to Costa Rica... plane tickets are $1,000 each. Then we really wanted to go to Clear Lake California (I'd still LOVE to go some day) to go hike in the mountains, fish, and go to wineries. Plane tickets are >$500 each. So, we talked about what we want: to fish, to hike, to be able to go to dinner, but to be secluded. We have both vacationed in Tennessee and loved it. So, we decided that TN is it. It is affordable and beautiful.

The problem is... we know nothing about Tennessee. We have narrowed it down to 3 places all around the same price (only $600-700 for 6 days!). We are looking for any insight or opinion to help us choose. We are planning on honeymooing end of May/beginning of July.

Here are the options:

1. Water's Edge Log Cabin  - Outside of Gatlinburg

It's a beautiful cabin. We love it. It has a hot tub, grill, and indoor jacuzzi. It's just a few miles from Gatlinburg where we can go out to eat and party a little. I'm not sure about the lake access or the lake. Also - this one has no customer reviews.

2. Boone Lake - Near Johnson (1.5 hours from Gatlinburg)

This one does not have a hot tub, but the lake does look more welcoming and it comes with a canoe. It is the least expensive of the 3. 

3. Butler Vacation Cottage - East Tennessee Mountains

Hot tub, grill, canoe, swimmable lake... but might be in the middle of nowhere. 

They all look amazing and I want to be there right now. Please help us decide where to go!

LOML Bday, Car Trouble, Wedding Updates

So much is going on right now, it is crazy! Let's talk about the most important thing first - I broke my stupid toe! I snagged it putting on my jeans and busted it! Super lame, especially considering I'm trying to run to fit into a dress for Laurie's wedding and I am trying to wear heels at the wedding. May have to cut it off...

But a broken toe isn't the only thing going on...

LOML Bday

Tomorrow, LOML turns 27! On Saturday, we went to Brio for a bday dinner. Sunday, we cooked out and had cake with my parents. I have promised to let him get the tattoo he wants as his gift. I also made him some sweet Battle Star Gallactica-inspired t-shirts!

This shirt has a cylon face on the front and was supposed to say "I'm a frakkin' cylon"... but I messed up the iron ons.

Tomorrow, we are going to Elsa's with some of his work friends and this weekend we will go to J. Alexander (nom nom nom).

However, it's a rough week to turn 27...

Car Trouble

We have had a lot of trouble with our Honda CRV lately. My AC went out. We had to pay over $400 to get the driver's side window fixed. The brake pads and rotors need replace, and the back hatch back handle is rusted so that we can't open the door.

On Sunday, Anthony went out for a bit in the morning. When he got home, the car was shaking and making some uneasy noises. We took it in to Monro and learned that he timing belt is going out... AWESOME!

My car is a V4, but pretty much the same.

So, we need to get that fixed to the tune of $600+!ing some uneasy noises. It has also made us realize that we do not have a reliable car anymore, and we've started looking for a new car to accompany our CRV.

While it has been SUPER stressful, I've realized that there is little LOML and I can't accomplish together.

Wedding Updates

So... we are again getting married in Ohio. There were many people unable to come to Costa Rica and it seemed like we were being forced to compromise a lot. And - the ceremony (non-legal) was going to be $1,000! So, we are again getting married on 5-5-12 at the Boonshoft Museum of Discovery in Dayton. I bought my dress this weekend and we are ready to get this wedding going!

So, life is crazy right now! But, we survive. :)

Dialectic Tension: Uncomfortable Being a Bride?

What is a "Dialectic Tension"?

Typically, when talking about Dialectic Tension, we are talking about interpersonal relationships. It is when you feel two opposing forces pulling you in opposite directions.

I think this actually has to do with religion, but it still illustrates what I'm talking about.

The idea with Dialect Tensions is that you can't fulfill both needs:

Autonomy vs. Connection

You can't be totally independent AND totally connected to someone at the same time.

Novelty vs. Predictability

You can't have newness and surprise all the time AND still have stability and know what will happen.

Openness vs. Closedness 

You can't share everything AND keep everything to yourself. 

What does "Dialectic Tension" have to do with being an "Uncomfortable Bride"?

I was reading my friend's blog. She is recently engaged and getting married 2 months after Anthony and I. Her blog is starkly different than mine. My only wedding post is about how stressful weddings are. She has a bunch of posts about how excited she is and about how she has all of these details figured out. 

We are both very in love and very excited to marry the loves of our lives. Why do we feel/act so differently about getting married? For myself, I believe it is because of dialectic tension.

I am typically the person that plans things for OTHER PEOPLE. I'm totally comfortable planning a birthday party or a bridal shower for SOMEONE ELSE. However, I've always been uncomfortable with other people doing things for ME (I won't even let Anthony help me carry in the groceries). This was all fine-and-dandy until I got engaged. All of a sudden, there is going to be this big event and it is all about ME (and Anthony, of course). 

Even worse? I want it to be all about ME and Anthony. I want the engagement party, the showers, the dress fittings. I want to go to cake tastings. Send out save-the-dates. I want everyone to make a fuss over me. I want that attention.

So, what is the problem?

Unresolved dialectic tensions cause adverse states in human beings. For example, if you have unresolved autonomy-versus-connection, you may try to be with your partner often, but feel smothered. Or, you may spend a lot of time on your own, but feel guilty. You simply can't satisfy both tensions at the same time. 

There are lots of ways to resolve dialectic tensions (I can't remember them all):

• Ignore one tension and only pay attention to the other.
• Accept one tension in some parts of your relationship, and other tensions in other parts.
• Reframe the tension as just a normal part of life (I doubt this actually works).

Yes, that's a picture of me.

I have not been able to resolve this tension. So, the adverse state I have been experiencing is GUILT. If you've talked to me about wedding stuff at all, you know that I feel guilty about EVERYTHING. 

Just for starters, I feel guilty that...

• People will be buying us gifts.
• My bridesmaids may have to buy dresses.
• People will have to go to Costa Rica if they want to see us get married.
• That someone will probably spend money on throwing a shower for us.
• That our friend is planning an engagement party, instead of out parents.
• Anytime I post anything wedding related because, while I'm not annoyed by others' posts, I'm sure someone will be annoyed by mine.
• That my sister is taking a day of work to go dress shopping.
• That my mom is buying my dress.
• That all of our money going toward a wedding could mean we don't get to get as many gifts for people as we did last year for Christmas.
• That our wedding, wedding planning, wedding pictures, wedding invitations, wedding anything might overshadow something that someone that we care about is doing. 
• Etc.

I wondered if I was the only bride that hasn't picked up her wedding binder in months. I found this article about how not all brides feel the same way. Only 12% of brides say that they are "really happy" during their engagement. Now, it is an article from a woman trying to sell her services to bride, so the "statistics" have to be taken with a grain of salt. 

"For less-than-really-happy brides, Life intervened.  Wedding planning itself was easy. Psychological and emotional issues are, shall we say, challenging. "

The author goes on to talk about herself:

"During my engagement, I would have fit into this category.  I felt sad about feeling disconnected from my single girlfriends.  I felt sad about difficult family relationships and how I wasn't being supported they way I felt I needed.  I felt sad about leaving my single life and losing my identity that I had honed and crafted for many years.  I felt sad, sad, sad....I was stunned at how sad I felt.  For me, it had nothing to do with my relationship to my fiance.  It was all "my stuff."  And it was hard to be sad when I was supposed to be "happy."'

While not completely, I do identify with the author. I'm a girl. I've thought about my wedding my whole life. So, when the fantasy of my wedding met the reality of my personality, I started to withdraw from wedding stuff all together and have become an uncomfortable bride.

Next steps? 

Resolving my dialectic tension and enjoying the next 10 months. 

 

A Cincinnati Reds-themed Bridal Shower

My friend Laurie is getting married in October. Laurie and I both got engaged right around Christmas 2010 (Laurie on Christmas, me a few days later). It has been really cool to kind of go through the process together.

I really wanted to do something for Laurie and Jason (her fiance), so I decided to throw them a shower. Since Laurie is crazy about sports. Sports are like her cat, she just loves them. Because of this, I decided to throw her a Cincinnati Reds-themed shower.

Anthony and I had another shower to go to the night before, so we had to do EVERYTHING to prepare Saturday morning, take Rocko to my parents, and then drive to Cincy. It was a little stressful. Also, Anthony convinced me that if the Reds lost that day, it would ruin the shower. Awesome.

Thankfully, the Reds beat the Braves 11-2. 

To go with the theme, I used a lot of Reds decorations. Party City and Kroger had great stuff. We also had ball park fare: hot dogs, nachos, pretzels, and beer. 

I bought the wrong banner, but it all worked out. It was a "Happy (Birth)Day".

Reds tattoos were a big hit. I still have remnants on my arm.

Reds straws, beads, and of course booze.

Sweet (literally) cookie cake from Kroger. I may have lied to people and said I made it.

This table would later hold quaso blanco, pretzels, hot dogs, chips, and salsa. Nom Nom Nom

Brutus the dog (see the OSU reference?) also got into the spirit. He was such a good dog that night.

Oh, yeah. It was also a "stock the bar" party. Vodka for days.

Jason (in the blue), Laurie (in the "orange" dress) and friends.

Anthony engrossed in the game.

Matt and Cheryl loving the Reds straws.

People doing stuff.

More people doing more stuff (mostly talking and drinking).

Our camera died toward the middle of the night, which was probably for the best. I love doing themed events. So many people came in their Reds gear. It made it really laid back and fun. 

Next up this fall are bachelorette parties. Baby shower in the spring. And just a little ol' wedding in May. 

Cats VS. Bats + Wombats

Cats, bats, and wombats! What. In. The. World?

So, last night around 11pm, the Little Foot cat walked by the doorway in the kitchen with something in his mouth... moving. The fat cat followed behind him.

Little Foot (L) and Beans the Cat (R)

I said "I think Foot has a bat in his mouth." Anthony thought it was just a toy (probably because he was scared).

We walked into the kitchen and that cat had a bat in his mouth!!! We didn't know what to do (we were literally yelling "What do we do? What do we do?"). We tried to get him to take it outside, but he was not interested. He kept walking back in forth in the kitchen with it in his mouth (I was a little worried his jaws were stuck or something). Then, he laid it down a few times (it was most definitely dead by then).

Finally, he let Anthony get it into a tupperware and trash it. Then Foot killed and ate a fly. He's my hero.

This is actually not the first time he's killed a bat. In the 2+ years we've lived in Oakwood, this is the 3rd bat that he's killed! If you walk outside when the sun is setting, you'll see bats flying all over the place in Oakwood (Vampires! Twilight is actually based on Oakwood!).

So what about WOMBATS? Well, I just discovered that they exist and I want one so badly! They are so squishy and I love them.

Cat-sized wombat.

This is a real animal!

THE END

I want to be a BUG

If I were to be reincarnated, I would want to come back as a bug.

Not this kind of bug:

Get outta here, slime ball.

Go get a face, zillion legs.

Holy mother of vomit...

No, not a gross bug. I would want to be a pretty bug like one of these:

Don't touch my wings, I'll go dead.

Hey lady... bug.

Am I a face? Am I a bug? Am I a bug face?

Why would I want to be a bug? Well, since Anthony and I have been living in a place the last 2 years where we can garden, I've become a bit obsessed with flowers and plants. I paint flowers, I want flowers on my wedding dress, I grow tons of flowers and plants.

It's just so cool to me that you can put a plant in the ground and end up with something like this:

When I think of being a bug, I think it would be something like "A Bug's Life".

I imagine living among the flowers. If you were a bug, they would be these huge, beautiful structures to you. Think of any downtown and imagine if those buildings were all giant flowers. It might be a little like Alice in Wonderland, but the flowers would be bigger.

Look how happy these bugs are:

Oh, hai! Welcome to my home.

Sorry, can't talk. At work right now.

Oh, excuse me while I go shower.

I know that bugs have very short life spans compared to humans. But it's all relative. Now we all expect to live to be near 100. Our life span has increased through history. Dying at 30 seems young, now. Years and years ago, you'd be an old maid. So, to a bug, 3-4 months is probably a nice long life. Would it be so bad to never know winter?

Who wouldn't want to live here?

PS - If I were a bug, NO I do not think my cats would eat me. They'd let me ride on their backs and take me around to new flowers.

Oh! I also found a site called Look at This Gross Bug that actually has pictures of really pretty bugs.